Active Listening

Navigating your child’s feelings and emotions can certainly feel like an uphill battle sometimes. One great way to help them understand their feelings and open up the dialogue is through reading a story that deal with the emotion at hand.  Validating their emotions in a non-judgmental way is critical to building trust and open communication.  A child that feels comfortable sharing how upset they are about having to take a bath or clean up their toys, will (hopefully) grow into an adolescent that opens up to you about the tricky, messy and confusing parts of being a teen.
 
You may be asking yourself – “Where do I even start?” Well, it’s more simple than you may think.  
Here are a few tips:

• Don’t match their emotion.  Remain calm and let them calm down before trying to talk it out. Check out Emily’s blog on Emotional Intelligence for more info on this.
• Practice active listening!  Active listening is a form of communication where the listener let’s the other person know that they are on their side and accepting of what they are saying.  Here is a great resource for active listening.  Active listening is a skill that takes a lot of practice but will benefit ALL of your relationships in the long run.
• Work together to find a solution or use a calming technique such as deep breathing.
• Don’t push! Know when it is time to walk away from the topic; you can always revisit when your child is feeling more read to talk.

 
In this video, Dani reads Emily’s Tiger by Miriam Latimer, a story about a child who is dealing with some serious anger. Emily’s parents are struggling to understand her and are frustrated with her outbursts.  Luckily, Grandma saves the day by sharing that she has also felt these feelings and offers solutions to help Emily cope.  
 
Use this video as a conversation starter when your child is feeling calm and revisit it after your child experiences anger.  Remember to use active listening so your child feels accepted and loved!